Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Michael "The Albatross" Gross (1984)


Having a last name like Gross can really be bad. However, it always makes you feel better when a World-class athlete shares your name. West German Michael Gross was nicknamed "The Albatross" because of his massive wingspan (2.13m, which is equivalent to nearly 7ft). I kept this picture on my wall for nearly a decade!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Family Trip To The Museum (2009)



This summer, the four of us took a trip to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History in Washington DC.  It's a MASSIVE building and fascinating trip.  We spent more than three hours there and still didn't see everything.  We missed the exhibit on First Ladies, but in all honesty, who cares about First Ladies?

Throughout the museum were stations where you can stamp/mark your map along the way.   We found 'em all!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Avoiding the Unemployment Line (1997)



What do you do when you get your BA in Anthropology?  You get a job at a museum of course.  What do you do when your job gets cut?  You take the only open position you can get, which was for a goddamn security guard!  Here is the ID that I proudly wore around my neck during my time in purgatory.

Man, I loved working in the Archeology Department, being out in the field and teaching kids.  But when I lost the job and had to work security...I did everything I could to hide.  What do you think I did when high schoolers would come in and smoke pot in the stairwells?  No...I didn't ask for any, but I hid in the library and tried to make the day pass as fast as I could.

Ya know, museums aren't run by professors or PhDs.  They are run by exceedingly wealthy schmucks who love cheating on their spouses with all the other wealthy schmucks.  And I can't tell you how much monkey business went on.  The astronomer was shtupping the woman who ran membership.  The animal handlers were messing around with the curators.  Even the minimum-wage security guards were cheating on spouses with other security guards.  It was a friggin' orgy of sin.  And, like at any other office, everybody thought their illicit affairs were a secret!

I remember the prop/display dude...so full of himself...he would walk around with these goofy "peanut" golf putters and "brag" about how he made them for President Jimmy Carter.  What a loser.

I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there.